For most of us, our most immediate association with the word violence is of physical aggression. After all the definition that comes up in Google is: behavior involving physical force intended to hurt, damage, or kill someone or something.
When it comes to domestic violence, and the aim to hurt, damage or kill someone, there are other options. You can utterly destroy a person, and never lay a hand on them. You can even give someone physical injuries and illness, without touching them.
So, I ask you to let go of the notion that violence is only something physical.
We all know people who suck the happiness right out of us. They are intent on pushing everyone down, in order to make themselves rise up. Many of us encounter them in school or our workplace, or perhaps in our community. The greater their influence and authority in our lives, the greater their impact.
I once worked in a place where I shared an office with a person like that. She constantly interrupted my work, and then would make remarks about how poorly and slowly I did my work. She would have outbursts of intense anger, and at the same time would be sweetness personified when any managers were around. I went to work with a knot in my stomach and walked on eggshells every day.
As a result of stress, I started crying at work, got migraines and fights with my partner. I had no energy for fun activities outside work. I lived in a daze. All because I shared an office with this woman. I did not even have to collaborate with her much. I loved the work, but I hated my job.
She very nearly destroyed me, and she sure never touched me.