This week my dear partner said to me, “That girl in my work reminds me of who you used to be“. I kinda love it when he says that because it is a great way of telling me how much I have moved on from a toxic past.
His remarks, and the stories and explanations about the situation in his work place, made me think about my own healing path. It made me think about the amazing journey that I have made these past few years. A few weeks ago I wrote this about it in my personal notes.
What it is not about
- This healing journey is not about what my parents did, or what they did not do.
- It is not about their intentions or actions.
- In fact, this journey is not about them at all.
- It is not about me being right, or them being wrong.
What it is about:
This healing journey is about how I’ve experienced my life. It is about what l experienced, learned, and felt while growing up. As well as while setting out on my own. It is about how I view and experience the relationships with my family, and how they have influenced me. It is about the person I am and the person I want to be.
My Story is Mine And Mine Alone
The reason I have come so far on this healing journey is because I was allowed to share my story. My story. The way that I experienced it. No one judged my observations, my feelings, or the way I felt I had been shaped by my experiences. As I shared my story, I became less concerned with the viewpoints of the other actors in my story. Believe me, I am not trying to slander anyone. I am simply owning my history. I understand that my retelling of events is not objective. How can it be when I talk about my feelings and emotions?
The only way to overcome your history is to own that history. So share your story to start making sense of it. It really is the only way to heal from the toxicity of past abusive relationships. And when you feel bad or guilty about putting your story into writing, remember that it is your story you are telling—not anybody else’s. And it’s perfectly okay for you to share what belongs to you.